How C.E.L. & Associates, Inc. Mediated Between Two Warring Clients

When it comes to being a divorce mediator and parenting coordinator, the job gets really tough when there are two warring factions. The animosity between the parties often leads to the discarding of logic and reasoning and this has a negative impact on the outcome which further fuels the feud.

C.E.L. & Associates, Inc. has been dealing with tough divorces and squabbling parties for several years. We use our intellect and experience to ensure that sense and reasoning triumphs and there is a logical approach used.

Keep reading to learn about how we helped two parties who had a deep hatred for each other, reach a compromise.

The Challenge: Two clients who hated each other and refused to compromise.

Divorce Mediation is all about my clients reaching agreements that are good for both them and their children. However, we once had two clients who truly hated each other and finding a way to facilitate an agreement between them was extremely challenging. Both parties were “drawing their line in the sand” and refusing to budge. In situations like this, situations that occur more times than I would like them to and having a divorce mediator with experience in high-conflict situations is key to success. Mediations like this can turn ugly on a dime and keeping things civil is the key to compromise.

When someone refuses to compromise for no other reason than pure spite and their position on a particular issue is unrealistic, it becomes extremely detrimental to productive negotiations,

The Solution: Finding out the reason for the intense animosity.

It is critical to find out the “why” behind their refusal to budge. Is it out of spite, fear, intimidation, advise of friends and/or their lawyer, not understanding the issue, etc.? In order to break this particular impasse between these two clients, finding out the “why” was critical. Once we obtained the reason, we were able to diffuse the situation, help the parties focus on the future, reach good agreements, and keep them and their children out of court.

While a good divorce mediator will be able to help a majority of clients break impasses and reach agreements, there is a small segment of the divorcing population that will just not compromise. In this situation, only a judge will be able to break this impasse. However, I do caution everyone reading this to not “throw in the towel” and go to court the second their spouse refuses to budge on a topic, as many people getting divorced are angry, sad, scared and don't want to negotiate with a spouse who has wronged them in some way.

This is why mediating in a controlled and private setting allows for people to vent and express their feelings in a controlled environment with a professional who can facilitate productive communications even when the situation gets heated. Divorce is emotional, stressful and talking about it sometimes clouds peoples judgments. Working with a divorce mediator who can help you focus on the future and moving forward instead of rummaging through the past.

A mediator who can take a heated topic and refocus it into a productive one is the key to a successful mediation when one party initially “draws their line in the sand”. Though every situation is different, most impasses, presuming the parties are willing to compromise, are able to be resolved during a single mediation session.

The Bottom Line

Though C.E.L. & Associates, Inc. are neutral as mediators, it is our promise to clients that we will be honest, straightforward and respectful regardless of the circumstances or facts they present to us in mediation. It is our mission to guide them to a resolution or settlement that will be accepted by the court and not only something that the clients themselves want to achieve in the process. To get started with your divorce mediation, get in touch with us by clicking here. To learn more about how we can help you, please click here. Or to read what our clients are saying about us, please click here.