Ten Questions To Ask A Divorce Mediator

Author: Brian James | | Categories: Cost Effective , divorce lawyer , divorce mediation


If your marriage is in trouble and you are heading for a divorce, it can be a stressful time, especially if there are children involved. To separate from your partner amicably, it is essential to pick a divorce mediator whom you can trust to navigate you through a very emotional time in your life.

It is highly unlikely that you have worked with a divorce mediator before, so you may not know where to start when it comes to choosing the right one for you. Therefore, to make the process easier, we have outlined ten questions to assist you in choosing the right divorce mediator.

During your initial consultation, ask these questions to help you understand if this mediator is the right fit for you, and capable of helping you through your divorce.

How do I decide if mediation is right for my spouse and me?
Family and marital mediation helps couples resolve issues they may be facing in their marriage regardless of whether they are ready to discuss the possibility of a divorce. Mediation is also the most efficient and cost-effective way for couples to go through the divorce process.

If my spouse and I do not talk to each other, can mediation still work?
Improved communication can only happen if the couple is in the room together. Mediation helps couples learn how to communicate better in addition to solving problems and handling vital issues.

If I have taken care of the children full-time, might he still get 50-50 time if we mediate?
During mediation, agreements can get drawn up about the different ways parenting can get handled going forward. Topics such as parenting time, allocation of parenting responsibilities, living arrangements, health insurance, child support, and homework are just some of the matters that can get discussed. However, it is essential to understand that the mediator is not taking sides in the sessions but facilitating conversations the couple cannot easily have on their own.

Can I have my attorney handle finances but mediate parenting time and holidays?
Parenting styles, parenting time, respecting decisions the other might make in a career choice, or personal situation are all relevant issues for mediation.

What happens if I want my attorney to attend mediation with me? Is that ok?
If couples wish to include their attorneys in some meetings where financial matters will get discussed, it is fine. That is attorney-assisted mediation and both parties would have the option of bringing an attorney to the session.

I am afraid of my spouse. Can mediation still work?
Most sessions will include you, your spouse, and the mediator, so you do not have to worry about being alone with your partner. On occasion, the mediator may wish to speak with each of you privately and confidentially. It is crucial to inform the mediator about your fear of your spouse beforehand.

Do I still need an attorney if we mediate all critical issues?
Mediation is a process in which a neutral party facilitates conversations and helps people come to agreements. It does not alleviate the need to go to court for a prove-up after the attorneys draft the legal documents needed to get divorced. However, an attorney can best explain how the court reviews documents drafted after.

What if I change my mind about something we decide in mediation? Is mediation binding?
The agreements reached in mediation are not binding until they get taken to court as part of the divorce agreement. Specific circumstances surrounding the case will dictate how any changes should best get handled.

Why is mediation better than going to court? I want to tell the Judge my story.
The mediation process will minimize the number of court appearances needed, by solving critical issues such as parenting time, allocation of parenting responsibilities, and financial matters. It will save you time and money. The agreements reached in mediation will be incorporated into necessary pleadings to complete the divorce process. Hopefully, the prove-up of the divorce will be the only court appearance needed if all issues get negotiated in advance.

Can I talk to an attorney first so I understand what could happen if my husband and I go to court?
Yes, you can talk to an attorney first, as they will be able to advise you on parenting arrangements, dividing assets and debts, property, spousal support, and health and life insurance. However, keep in mind that some attorneys may not respect mediation, as they will make less money than if they litigate your divorce.

Want to get started with divorce mediation and parenting coordinator in Chicago that is dedicated to creating cordial relationships? Then reach out to us at C.E.L. & Associates.

Backed by a passionate and driven team, we are committed to making the divorce process as smooth as possible by providing services that fit into your budget.

Reach out to C.E.L. & Associates, Inc. today to get started on your divorce mediation.